In this ever shrinking world, that we know, when the geo-political boundaries are irrelevant as they do not affect people to people contact, has it ever come to your mind, where do you belong?
Today I would like to share a feeling that is very different to me. Some may snap to conclusion and pass their esteemed view saying I am suffering some mental sickness. Their claims could be anything from manic depression to feeling of solitude or confused identity. Let me assure all of them. That is not the case. The difference is that I am able to share such feelings openly and not just tuck them away under the carpet. I am not least concerned about what others may think of me. My objective is very simple. If through these posts, if even one person finds some help or comfort knowing that they are not alone, in feeling so, then my purpose is served.
In this ever expanding horizons of life, where the world is shrinking, one is faced with fascinating ideas. Ideas, philosophies and cultural aspects that more than intrigue us. Some we would like to adopt and incorporate in our lives. Some we want to learn more. Some in fact we may find out right repelling. Whatever the case maybe. The point is, given the fact that you live in your present surroundings. Probably you have been living there for many years. It is your comfort zone. Your safe house. A place that you are at ease with. Yet, there things you wish were different. Especially knowing they different elsewhere. You want that little different aspect to be part of your ‘comfort’ life.
This becomes more intriguing and at times even torturing, when it comes to cultural and ideological ‘new’ things. Let us call it ‘new’ things instead of different things, as the word ‘new’ brings the right sense to the applied meaning against the word ‘different’.
I was born and raised in Mumbai, India. I lived in Melbourne in Australia, Bangkok, Koh Samui in Thailand and spent short spells in Khatmandu in Nepal, Pune, New Delhi in India. I am back to my home town, Mumbai. With my experience in a few different parts of the world, I have become a different person. Let us say I chose to become a different person. Call it process of evolution. Now this is where it all begins. Suddenly I find certain behaviour, which is normal for certain people, now annoys me. These are the very same people who have, directly or indirectly influenced my life, since I was born. Something that I never bothered to notice about them, now suddenly annoys me.
I can understand the aspect of a person evolving. Then again, what I understand was that evolving means one become more mature and tolerant. Whereas I am becoming more sensitive and impatient. I may not be vocal about it. The very fact that I am able to notice the disturbing annoyance and thoughts does bother me a bit.
On a deeper level, upon meditating, the question that rises to my mind is “Where do I belong?”
I guess I will never find the answer. Maybe the question is wrong to start with. Maybe I know the answer. Who knows. For the time being, the question is definitely on my mind. Not bothering so much as inviting or calling me to explore it. Explore it in an attempt to understand the question itself. Not for finding the answer. The fun is in exploring the question. Excitement is understanding the question. Not so much in finding the answer.